there just a thin line between a good choice and bad choice.
whichever way is chosen, we must continue down this path.
sometimes, life just forces you to grow up.
people change, things change, and you just have to adapt to it.
that's growing up, isn't it?
i'm forever like that.
Just a typical person.
but sometimes, i just want to be different.
i've made gazillions of stupid choices this year.
the choice of school, the choice of course, the choice of cca and everything else.
even when i was given a choice to shine in an aspect i loved, i walked away from it.
half of it was done because of friends.
sometimes i really wonder, do i really mean anything to these people?
it's been miserable, watching people i love slip through my fingers.
they fly away, blend into the crowd.
the next moment you realise, they become strangers once again.
sometimes i don't want to study too hard, or put in too much effort.
so that people won't shun me.
now i realise, that's stupidity.
i'm sick of being average.
i promise, next year.
i should stop giving up things because of others.
perhaps if i didn't come here, i wouldn't lose so much.
hahahahaha. for the whole year i've been trying convince myself i made the right choice.
i'm tickled.
guess it's time i realised, i don't have to give a fuck about others.
pweawy used to care, care so fucking much. but it all ends up to nothing.
the one who bothers about the hypocritical piles of bullshit around them always loses.
eventually, the one who shapes your life is yourself.
if you're gonna waste so much time caring about the people around you,
you're gonna lose out cause they don't bloody give a shit about you.
i shouldn't waste time going out with them cause it's a bloody waste of time.
i shouldn't care less.
last year was the same, when everything was wrong.
you didn't fucking give a fuck. you just acted like you fucking care.
but in the end, you just had your own fucking fun and i was some fucker just left behind.
it was painful, but it just made me realise that you people are just fucking piles of bullcrap.
you pretended to fucking care and then scolded me to save your fucking ass.
if your fucking power means everything to you, fine by me.
treat me like a fucking fool who believed you.
i want to say FUCK YOU right in your face.
perhaps one day i will.
everything is in a fucking mess right now.
but i'll sort it out soon. everything will be okayyyy :3
dayum! :D
janeh-desu.