the past month haven't been a smooth sailing one, indeed.
down in the dumps about the upcoming promotional exams, wallowing in despair.. not.
currently lagging behind in most subjects, well probably only biology.
organic chemistry has been a breeze so far. physical chemistry is real shit.
math picked up ever since mr max came, but i'm struggling with application of integration.
got to catch up soon else i'll be dead for the promos.
Gp is the perfect horror story, bravo.
perhaps, let just name the person 'someone', although we all know who the 'someone' is.
well, if you don't, too bad.
fret not, i don't intend to bad mouth that person. simply, apathetic. perhaps not.
'someone' has been through a dilemma, or is still going through it now (God knows).
now, i'm getting attituded/ignored/whatever by that 'someone' and i don't know why.
what did i do wrong? what did i do that was incorrect?
...
friendship is not about expecting, it's about accepting.
that's why i'm sticking here till now, even if you treat me this way.
... but not for long.
even if that 'someone' means the whole world to me,
even if that 'someone' fucking hates me,
it's fine by me.
i can't force you to love me. i don't expect you to love me.
however, i love my friends. that's all.
i can't blog much here. maybe i'll post up in the atheric. Keke, been reading too much weather warden and outcast by Rachel Caine.
pent up emotions will blow one day.
been exploding a lot. a lot of resentment.
i'm tired of fighting so hard and getting nowhere, watching naturally gifted people flaunting their gifts everywhere.
after watching 'dive!!', i know that i hate being stuck at 'ordinary'.
i want to surpass 'ordinary' and be free.
target 1: the people who call me short and those who called me fat.
i'm gonna bulldoze you, whoever you are.
i don't want to lag behind anymore. i don't want to be laughed at anymore.
i may laugh with you, i may joke about it. Truth is, it all hurts.
because one is tall, everybody wants you. tseesh. i hate that feeling since i entered Pj.
(no i'm not specifying anyone, just generally from my observation)
THIS F*******SCHOOL MAKES ME FEEL SO INFERIOR WITH THE WAY THEY DO THINGS.
it's okay. burst out. whoops.
OH yeah! played floorball today.
never lose touch siol :3
miss the good old days playing floorball almost every week in church...
and knowing.. you. the memories still hurt after 4 years. haha :)
well.
janehhhh.